Kimberly Keiser and Associates

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Boundaries in our New World [Practice 14]

As the world begins to open back up, socializing with others again can be a task that we once handled with ease. Now due to isolation, we seem to have forgotten how to handle it. Some of us have only had to primarily interact with ourselves and those in our immediate household over the past few months. 

All of a sudden, many of us are going back out into workplaces, hanging out with friends, and interacting with more people. The thought of going back to doing all of these things may cause a variety of emotions ranging from excitement to overwhelm. However, this moment may prove to be the perfect moment to reflect on things we can put and/or keep in place to help us acclimate a little easier to the changes we are experiencing. 


Expectations

For some of you, introverts such as myself, going from guilt-free hanging out at home to all of a sudden being around a lot of people, might make this sudden increase in social activity requests and expectations overwhelming. Remember, it is okay for you to acknowledge this, and plan accordingly. You are going to face people who don’t understand, who desire to fit in all the activities that they missed over these past few months. However, if you go along with them, without stating your needs, you may find yourself feeling burned out quickly. 


Start small. 


Try one outing with friends a week, or start by having a couple of friends over for a scheduled time frame (if allowed where you are located), so that you can set the time limit and have a little more comfort and control over your space. If it becomes too much, take a break to recenter yourself and slow things down. Don’t forget, it’s also okay for you to be honest with the people that you love so they can support you as you dip your toes back into socializing. 

Oh! And don’t forget your electronics. It’s okay to say, “I need a break” to them, too. 

Boundaries

It turns out setting boundaries, particularly at the beginning of something new, tends to make the transition into the new space easier. Also, having clear boundaries from the beginning makes them easier to upkeep, rather than trying to address them a year into having our boundaries knowingly or unknowingly disregarded. 

So, in the efforts of supporting you in implementing important boundaries here is a list of some you can implement as you construct your “new normal”:

  • Prioritize your self-care.

  • Share your thoughts, feelings, and needs with your friends/family.

  • Have personal space and privacy to enjoy.

  • Allow others to make their own decisions, just as you are allowed to make your own.

  • Be clear about your personal needs/wants regarding safety. (i.e. social distancing, mask-wearing, not attending certain events, etc.)

  • Say no to things you are not interested in.

  • Be honest when you need a break and communicating that with the people involved

  • Set work limits. (Just because you are available, doesn’t mean your free time should be filled with work, especially if it results in feeling depleted rather than refreshed.) 

Remember, we are all navigating this together. There is no one size fits all in this scenario, and that’s okay. Your job is to find the best fit for yourself. If you choose to accept this challenge, and I truly hope you do, I would highly encourage you to check out this article for more helpful information on the importance of boundary setting and how to do it. 

Happy boundary setting!

Online Tele-Health

If you need help figuring out what you want your boundaries to be as we transition back into the public, feel free to reach out. We are currently offering 100% online tele-health services so you can safely meet with any of our counselors and not leave the sanctuary of your home. We’ll be offering these services even after we transition back to a post-pandemic world.