Living in the Wait: Infertility Summit

On January 30, Kimberly had the opportunity to be part of the Living in the Wait Infertility Summit hosted by Living in the Wait founder Melissa Vande Kieft, where she talked about Building a Strong Connection with Your Partner.

Some of the questions audience members asked prior to and during the talk are common questions couples have while coping with infertility. These include:

• My husband is a very upbeat, positive person and doesn't like talking about hard, painful topics. I need to process what we're going through but it's hard to talk to him about it. HELP!    

• I'm ready to stop treatments (change treatment plans, adopt). I'm exhausted from the physical and mental toll it's taken on me. My husband wishes to continue. How can we come to a place in the middle and do so without a ton of resentment and frustration?

• I love to research and be informed about procedures, etc. we're doing and my husband prefers to just trust the doctors. How can I get him on board to help me find education, etc.  to help us?

• My partner and I are opposites. What suggestions do you have to help us communicate about what we're going through in a constructive manner?

• How can we make sex more enjoyable when it has to be timed? I feel so much pressure to just have sex that it’s not even enjoyable anymore. 

• My husband is a fixer. When I get really emotional about our journey he is very dismissive and says things like, “Please don't cry, it will be ok.” But I need to process my emotions and am beginning to not feel comfortable sharing with him because he only tries to fix, not listen and empathize to what I'm feeling. How can I tell him what I need him to do for me at that moment?

• I have a great support system, but my husband doesn't really have anyone he feels comfortable talking to about what we're going through. I'm concerned for his mental health. How can I encourage him to share what he's experiencing with someone other than me to process it all?

• After several miscarriages and a lot of loss, there is a dark cloud over our sex life. My husband sometimes struggles to get an erection when we have to “have sex” according to our doctor as part of our infertility treatments. How can he overcome this? 

• I feel like my partner and I don't even like each other anymore. We hardly laugh, only talk about appointments or stuff related to infertility. We used to dream and spend time dating each other. Infertility has taken all the joy out of our relationship, and I'm not sure what to do to get it back. 

• My partner would never say he blames me for what we're going through, but sometimes it feels like he thinks this is my fault. I know this is beyond my control, but some days I believe it and it's affecting me. 

Check out the full Q&A with Kimberly to learn more about how you can learn to build effective communication, enhance emotional intimacy, and – among other important topics – address recurring issues that become more pronounced during the infertility struggle to deepen your relationship.

According to the Centers for Disease Control (CDC), about 6% of women ages 15-44 have difficulty becoming pregnant within the first year of trying to conceive. In addition, between 10-12% of women ages 15-44 have difficulty becoming pregnant, carrying a pregnancy to term or having a child. 

The challenges posed by infertility on a woman and her partner can be significant. At Kimberly Keiser & Associates, we are here to support you on your infertility journey.