Quarantining or Cocooning: What’s Your COVID-19 Coping Style? [Practice 3]

We are all navigating the COVID-19 pandemic differently.

As a couples therapist in Sioux Falls, I find it especially interesting to see how couples are navigating the challenges in different ways.

While there are countless ways of dealing with this new normal, I have found three common approaches in my relationship counseling.

Which one most closely describes you and/or your partner?

1. “Noticing” Each Other

For some couples, the social isolation caused by the coronavirus has prompted them to literally “notice” each other in the same space. As a result, they have begun connecting in a more meaningful way.

Partners tell me that, for the first time in a long time, they are looking into their partner’s eyes and seeing them in a different light. 

2. Addressing the Real Issues

For other couples, who had been dealing with infidelity or other issues before the global pandemic, COVID-19 has brought these issues to light. These couples are learning to address their real issues, instead of avoiding them or just existing in the same space and connecting only on the surface level.

What felt disconnected but safe before no longer works. The pandemic has intensified whatever was missing in the relationship before, and couples are having the courage to talk about it.

As we are all testing our pandemic coping resources and growing in tolerance to new inconveniences and uncertainties, we are becoming more real with one another. Perhaps the threat to our survival — whether it is perceived or real — makes us more brave to assert ourselves and reclaim our happiness in our relationships.

Couples no longer want to maintain the status quo. 

3. “Cocooning” Together

Yet other couples are discovering how much they actually missed each other. They are taking advantage of what therapist Esther Perel refers to as “cocooning” to find a new closeness and meaning during this time.

For all couples who are having difficulties intensified by these challenging times, I would recommend you tune in to Esther Perel’s series of webinars called Love, Loss, Loneliness (and a Pinch of Humor!) Under Lockdown.

Here’s one of my favorite videos, which explains the concept of “cocooning” and the importance of honoring our relational differences:

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While each of these relational coping strategies is different, all three are healthy ways of dealing with the pandemic changes.

If you are looking for more healthy ways to support your relationship during this time, visit our pandemic resource hub.

And if you are looking for a little boost, consider exploring our tele-health counseling services. Our team of couples therapists in Sioux Falls is available to meet with you and your partner 100% online.